Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
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