garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
