I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
