Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
