I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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