we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
