Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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