it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize