No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
