I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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