You can't special order awesome
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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