"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
