**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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