Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You need a sexual gate keeper
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
