I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
