There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You need a sexual gate keeper
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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