uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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