i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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