what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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