anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize