PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
