Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
