My hand turned me down
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's blow job season.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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