so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
