well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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