I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
