Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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