I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The air taste purple.
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