Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He did a backflip because drugs
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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