Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize