Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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