I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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