I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize