im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
NoShamevember. You game?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
