Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
