Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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