surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
