that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Randomize
