So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
