worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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