well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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