I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
