Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
