Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
