My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize