Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
