dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
