My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
