some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize