it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
