Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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