the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
