I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize