i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize