well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
