I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
