Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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