I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
