What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
